"Frankenstein Meets The Wolfman" -1943.

Tagline: "A death-fight...between two beasts!" No, it's not Leno and Letterman.

The poster is okay, but the Wolfman looks kind of....naked. In the movie, he's covered in fur

and looks like a pissed-off Labradoodle.

In the poster he looks more like Frankie Valli.

The Wolfman does not wear a pompadour, thank you very much.

Plot: Grave robbers open the grave of Larry Talbot looking for easy money

and instead find a ticked-off Wolfman.

Talbot is later found in the street by a Bobby

("Allo, allo, allo....whas ahl 'is then?") and brought to the good Dr. Mannering.

Upon coming about, he announces himself to be the previously dead Lawrence Talbot

....which causes a bit of a stir. Police check on Talbot's grave and discover Larry's corpse has been upgraded to a...fresher corpse. Inspector Owen

wants to question Talbot, but the Wolfman knows what he is and knows he cannot die. After a couple of , ahem, "incidents", involving full moons and people being torn to ribbons

Talbot decides to seek out Maleva. She's the old gypsy woman who can sympathise with him, seeing as it was her son that turned Talbot into "The Shaggy D.A.".

She and Talbot go to Vasaria (which just happens to look a lot like Germany) to find Dr. Frankenstein (it's not pronounced "Frawnk-uhn-schteen" in this movie) in the hopes that the not-so-good doctor will reveal a way for Talbot to die and finally have peace. To his hairy dismay, Talbot finds Dr. Frankenstein has already passed on of unnatural causes, thanks in part to this man,

Vazec, the proprietor of the local beer hall/hotel. Vazec is the Head Poop-Disturber and Poker Of Bears. Vazec is just sick to death of all this Frankenstein nonsense and is seemingly always at the ready to gather up arms and burn down castles. However Talbot does make the acquaintance of Baroness Frankenstein,

the doctor's daughter. But she doesn't have Dr. Frankenstein's notes and can't help Talbot. He decides to search the ruins of the burned-out castle

for the notes and there discovers The Monster encased in a block of ice.

Talbot sets the microwave on "defrost" and presto! Instant Monster! Larry befriends Frankenstein's Monster and enlists him to help find the doctor's notes.

Dr. Mannering tracks down Talbot (they're interrupted by a singing Bavarian, for some reason)

and it isn't long before Frankie (not Valli) makes an appearance looking for his new buddy, which doesn't sit well with the villagers.

I mean, they went through a lot of trouble organising an angry mob to kill Dr. Frankenstein and his creation the first time. "Hans, do you have the torches?....No, Fritz was supposed to get the torches. I was in charge of pitchforks and sickles....Auch du liber! Must I do everything myself?" Anyway, the good doctor quickly falls in love with Baroness Frankenstein and Dr. Frankenstein's medical equipment. (And, no, thankfully the Baroness isn't singing here, just yelling....which is like singing only less melodic...but I digress)

With help from the Baroness, Talbot finds Dr. Frankenstein's notes and asks Dr. Mannering to help him die. However, it isn't long before Dr. Mannering is playing God and decides maybe bringing The Monster back to all his former lurching glory is a fantastic idea.

But not all monsters assembled from chopped up corpses are friendly (I remember that lesson!).

The doctor brings The Monster back to his full potential just in time for him to go berserk. Frankie pimp-slaps the doctor and tries to take off with the Baroness,

but the Wolfman jumps him and chaos ensues. And Frankie and Wolfie are soon doing the Universal Monsters Twist. (Tm)

And let's not forget those resourceful villagers looking to rid themselves of the Frankenstein name. SPOILER ALERT! The dude with the biceps where his moustache should be blows up the conveniently located dam

and destroys Frankenstein's castle

with F. and W. still doing battle inside. Mannering and the Baroness escape (largely) unharmed. And...scene!

Things I learned from this movie: 1- despite what the poster and credits say it was Lon Chaney Jr. who played Talbot/Wolfman, and not his famous father,

2- The Monster was played by Bela Lugosi, who was iconic as "Dracula" in the 1931 movie of the same name.

This was the one and only time Lugosi played The Monster. Interestingly, Lon Chaney Jr. is the only actor to have played one form or another of all four of the classic Universal Monsters. He was Lawrence Talbot/The Wolfman in this (and the first "Wolfman" movie in 1941), The Monster in "The Ghost Of Frankenstein" (1942),

The Mummy in "The Mummy's Tomb" (1942),

and Dracula's son in.....Ghostbusters!....No, just kidding....in "Son Of Dracula" (1943),

3- if you recognise Dr. Mannering and can't figure out why, it's because he wasn't wearing his red tights in this movie.

That's Patric Knowles, who played Will Scarlett in "The Adventures Of Robin Hood" opposite his good friend Errol Flynn back in 1938,
4- when I was a young boy, I would beg my mother to buy me the full-sized poster of Frankenstein

I always saw for sale in the back of my comic books....I was met with a blank stare and a lesson in economics,
5- would someone please find a freakin' Weed-Whacker or something?,

6- Yeah, I've had a few mornings like that,

7- that's how I want my funeral to be: no casket, just a fat German with a Herculean moustache carrying me down the middle of the street followed by an angry mob...my mother would have wanted it that way,

8- here's the original idea for "The Statue Of Liberty"....Eiffel decided to go with the other drawing,

9- ladies, if you're going to maintain the interest of a doctor you had better be able to throw a good-looking shadow,

10- if the mentally unstable doctor says you shouldn't touch something, you really shouldn't touch it.

Time to play "Guess That Mess"! Ooh! It's gonna be a hard one this time! Put on yer learnin' hats!

Give up? Okay, I'll have mercy on you. The fourth photo is a clever forgery. It was a toss-up between Mari-stein and this one:

I decided to go with the less scary of the two.