"Homicidal" -1961.

Tagline: SPECIAL "FRIGHT BREAK"  There will be a special FRIGHT BREAK during the showing of "Homicidal." Can your heart stand the challenge when the clock starts the COUNTDOWN? Umm....yeah, probably.

Plot: Well, without giving away too much, it goes like this: A woman calling herself Miriam Webster

appears in a hotel and makes a strange offer to one of the bellhops.

All he has to do is marry her

and she'll give him $2,000. She informs him when and where and tells him the marriage will be annulled immediately after the wedding. He agrees and they drive to the home of the justice of the peace

to get hitched. Problem: she stabs the J.O.P. to death and flees the scene.

That would be a problem if her name really was Miriam Webster, but we find her name is actually Emily and she is a caretaker for a wheelchair-bound woman named Helga.

And guess who else is visiting Helga? Why, it's the real Miriam Webster! What a co-inky-dink!

And look how happy Emily is to see her! A teeny bit jealous, I think, because Emily seems to have a thing for Miriam's brother, Warren.

Not a terribly handsome man, but he was no better as a child.

What do I know? Maybe he's hot. Anyway, Helga seems to know Emily isn't quite right in the head and tries to get someones attention to let them know, but it's kinda hard when you're only means of communication is banging a doorknob on the arm of your wheelchair. Helga wins the prize for wrinkliest skin, by the way. (That's not a glove!)

Meanwhile, we find out Warren is about to inherit a very large fortune, since he is the only son to a man who thought it proper to whip Warren once in a while for no real reason, just to "toughen him up". Miriam loves her brother very much, and not just because he's about to have a bank statement that looks like a UPC code. We discover Emily arrived on the scene while Warren was in Denmark with Helga. Coincidentally, Helga had a convenient stroke about the same time that Emily appeared. Hmmmm... Enter Karl,

the pharmacist/soda jerk at the local drug store and boyfriend to The Real Miriam Webster ("Will the real Miriam Webster please stand up, please stand up"). Great! Now I'm going to have Eminem going through my head all day. I'll have to watch "The Screaming Skull" again so I can get "Oh Mickey you're so fine" to replace it. Where was I?...Oh yes, Karl has known Miriam and Warren his whole life and is concerned that Emily looks a lot like the sketch in the paper of a woman who killed a JOP. A valid concern, for the record. Emily feels the need to show the audience that she is, indeed, totally schizoid and trashes Miriam's flower store, ending with a rather dangerous looking destruction of Warren's photo he gave to Miriam. (Whoa! Ree-LAX!)

The police, meanwhile, have not been letting any grass grow under their feet and bring their witness, the bellhop, out to identify Miriam. Of course, she looks totally different, so s'all good. But Karl plays a hunch and shows the bellhop a photo of Emily. Yahtzee! Problem: now Emily has nothing to lose. Luckily, William Castle had the good sense to put in a "Fright Break" to stop the tension dead in it's tracks. *sigh*

Things I learned from this movie: 1- "Fright Break" is really annoying to people who aren't frightened and just want to watch the freakin' movie uninterrupted....not to mention it's so cheesy it should be on a Taco Bell menu,

2- see that paper with the bald guy in the center? That's apparently called "money"...I've never seen it because I'm divorced and have children...if you see one of these laying around feel free to mail it to me....just put my name on an envelope and address it "Canada"....I'm sure it will find it's way,

3- Ooh! Waffles! Go back!

4- at first I was sure the Star Trek guest appearances were carrying on when I saw the doctor (I thought he was the "bad doctor" from the episode "The Dagger Of The Mind")

but I was mistaken. The "bad doctor" was played by James Gregory of "Barney Miller" fame. The "good doctor" (he does stop Emily, eventually) was played by Alan Bunce

and I'll be jiggered if he doesn't sound and act like an identical twin to Mr. Gregory...he isn't, though....a twin, I mean...they aren't related at all, 5- just when I was sure all hope was lost of being able to tie this movie to Star Trek, a Hail Mary! Karl, the pharmacist, played by Glenn Corbett, also played Zephram Cochrane in the episode "Metamorphosis",

where he kept getting felt up by an intelligent energy cloud! Do you like fruit? How do you like them apples, baby?!, 6- surely there can't be another Star Trek thread, right? WRONG! Boom! Emily was played by Joan Marshall (even though she was billed as "Jean Arless" in this one) and played Areel Shaw (the prosecutor) in the Star Trek episode "Court Martial"!

BLAMMO!! Apples for everyone....my treat,

7-  as usual in Hollywood, getting bashed in the head with a bottle knocks you out and gives you a bit of a headache....in real life: subdural hematoma,

concussion, stitches, moderate to severe blood loss....gosh! do you think Hollywood was lying to us?,

8- in 1961, you could have a little old man drive to wherever you were and sharpen a knife for you....how much?...two dollars....now two dollars won't even get you a local call at a payphone to call a knife sharpener...assuming you could find a payphone...or a knife sharpener,

9- that's Helga in her wheelchair...minus her head...wow! that old man is really good!...two bucks, eh?,

SPOILER ALERT!! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP!

10- Isn't it strange how Emily and Warren are never seen talking to each other? Hmmmm....and Warren does seem to have some rather wide hips

....hmmm....OMG! Warren is Emily! Holy crap! I have to admit, I didn't figure it out until more than half way through.

Yes, it turns out "Warren" was born a girl but Warren's mother paid the Justice Of The Peace (the one that was murdered) to forge the birth certificate so her belligerent husband could shut up about having an heir. Helga knew and was paid to keep Warren looking and acting like a boy until he was old enough to inherit his father's fortune. Too bad he invented "Emily" while Warren and Helga were in Denmark. Who better to kill off the people who knew (or might know) and keep "him" from "his" inheritance? However, "Fright Break" or no "Fright Break", Warren forgot the one rule when carrying out the perfect murder: lock the door once your victim is inside. Oops! "It's not what it looks like!" Luckily for Miriam, the good doctor happened by.

And now it's time for a little game I call "Guess That Mess"! Same as before, you find the photo that doesn't belong. First prize is an all-expenses paid vacation to sunny North Korea! (As long as you pay for it all....send me some pictures, I would like to see Korea before it becomes a radioactive crater.) Here goes!

Ooh! It's going to be a tough one! Good luck! And hey, thank you, dear reader (no "s") because I have surpassed 600 views on this here blog thingy! Pretty good considering I estimated in the high teens. That includes countries like Germany, France, Russia, South Korea, Norway, Pakistan and China! So thank you, in all of your respective languages...because I'm just way too lazy to translate all that! Also, check out http://www.filmhill.com becuase they're sending people my way and I want to return the favour!
Coming soon: A considerably less interesting movie from William Castle. Stay tuned.