"The Killer Shrews" -1959.

Tagline: "Your skin will crawl with fear at their nearness!" Good call going with the other tagline for the poster.

 

Thorne, our hero and his first mate "Rook" bring supplies to a group of scientists on a remote island. Dr. Cragis, his research assistant Dr. Radford Baines, Cragis' daughter Ann, her fiancee Jerry Farrel, and some poor bastard named Mario, meet the boat and advise Thorne and Rook to stay with them in a house because a hurricane is approaching. Thorne goes but Griswold stays with the boat.
On the island, Dr. Cragis has been working to make humans half normal size. (Why not? He's half size.)

This will reduce world hunger as smaller humans will eat less, I guess. His experiments have also created some giant, mutated, venomous shrews. (It happens.) Thorne and the daughter start to fall in love, which pisses Jerry off. As the shrews run out of other animals to eat, they tree Rook and eventually eat him then have a go at the people in the house,breaking in through the basement. The shrews have developed a poisonous bite, as a small bite is enough to kill Poor Bastard Mario. The poison also kills Dr. Radford, and the shrews force the group out of the house to escape to the boat. Jerry stays behind, perched on the roof like the moron he is.  They escape by making a make-shift tank out of oil drums and duck-walk to the beach inside them. Jerry is killed by the shrews after he jumps down from the roof thinking the coast is clear, but the rest escape to the boat. Thorne gets the girl and the shrews get free eats. Everybody's happy!
 

Here's a little trivia before I get to my list: If you look closely at our hero (above, left), you may recognize him. That's James Best, who is known for his role as "Roscoe P. Coltrane" on "The Dukes Of Hazzard". Now, he is also a well-respected teacher, a writer, a director, a producer AND a painter (Welcome to the Official James Best Website!), but when James Best, who founded his own teaching school, passes away every rag in the country will have this picture beneath his name:

I would like to apologize to Mr. Best now, while he is still alive to remind people one acting role does not define an actor. That being said, James Best was also in the recent sequel.....yes, you read that right. "The Return Of The Killer Shrews!"

where he was reunited with his former "Dukes" co-star, John Schneider. He played either Bo or Luke, I'm not sure which. I haven't seen the sequel and I doubt I will. I prefer classic trash cinema.

Also, Ken Curtis plays the drunken fool scientist who stays on the roof at the end. You may know him as "Festus" on "Gunsmoke". Never heard of "Gunsmoke"? Then you're too young to be reading this blog. Go download an app or something, kid.

Things I learned from this movie: 1- what other movie has Roscoe P. Coltrane almost throwing Festus to giant, mutant, poisonous killer shrews?, 2- in Germany it was called "Night Of The Uncanny Beast"....those Germans crack me up!, 3- one of the first B-movies to have an African-American in a role where he wasn't playing Oonga-Boonga Of The Jungle,

 4- the "shrews" look alot like dogs with fake fur stuck to them,



5- "Love" means never having to say "I'm sorry I pulled a gun on you", 6- apparently, shrews cannot dig through dirt, 7- apparently, shrews are terrified of water, 8- at 36 minutes: Shrew Alert! Shrew Alert!,

9- what do the writers have against minorities?,10- a giant shrew is one thing, but how about hundereds of poisonous, mutant, voracious giant shrews?, 11- a 100 pound mutant shrew can chew through a wall but not a couch,

12- picture this: you're a young beautiful woman in a makeshift tank, carefully duck-walking 1/2 a mile while voracious, man-eating, poisonous, giant mutant shrews attack the metal inches from your face, you scream and some idiot in the next compartment says "What's wrong, Ann?"..."Oh, nothing. I just stepped in some killer shrew poop",

13- never, ever say "Cream and sugar?" and open the kitchen door. Which brings me to 14- this is the first "horror" B-movie I've seen that utilizes the modern horror movie trick that I call "The Boo Factor", where the director startles the audience with something unexpected. Like a hairy puppet hurtling through a kitchen door.

Overall rating: 4 voracious, mutant, giant poisonous shrews out of 5.